If you have not noticed society is going through a crisis. Just look around, step outside the door, or at least turn on the TV. It will not be long before someone can be found dressed in shorts that could pass for underwear, or a shirt barely long enough to cover their belly button and cleavage at the same time. Consider some simple questions;
- What is the cost to our self-esteem?
- What does this say about you as a person?
- What type of attraction are you receiving?
- Are you being portrayed in the best light?
Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great that our culture is celebrating the natural beauty and appeal of a woman’s body. The ability to welcome our freedom as women is something I cherish, as you should as well, it was not always this way. We can celebrate our bodies, striving to gain more liberty.
A woman of honest beauty is powerful; knowing such a fact allows one to be comfortable in their skin. It’s an intoxicating sentiment.
Consider something else for a moment; we have all been there. Think back to a time when someone wanted you; they wanted you. It was a simple attraction completely unexpected. Some desirable qualities drew them to you, like bees to honey. At that moment, you felt powerful. The emotion allowed you to walk away with your head held higher, a subtle yet sexy sway in your hips, and a smile on your face.
Unfortunately, after some undetermined time frame, the feeling will fade. You’ll pass countless strangers who don’t stop and stare. No one will look at you with wonder. Not one single soul will struggle to muster the courage and for your number. And, let’s be honest, it stings to go unnoticed. It’s the constant juxtaposition of being viewed with awe and longing in one instant and then being overlooked the next that gives us the yearning, the itch for another moment of power.
In rebuttal, to the instability, we change our clothes, alter our hair, and do everything possible to become more appealing. But continually chasing the idea of being sexier is stealing away the substance that makes us sexy.
If you want to clench the power, there is one crucial aspect to realize. It does not come from other people, it originates from within. I am not saying you shouldn’t invest in your appearance, but rather capitalize on the development of your character. Invest in being a lady.
We are not inherently born with the tools necessary in being a lady. Be honest; have you always presented lady-like characteristics? Or, know someone who lacks those instruments of power?
In fact, I know a certain person who exemplifies unladylike behavior. We will call her Miss, in this example; she assumes everyone worships the ground she walks on because in her mind she possesses the “it” factor. Unfortunately for Miss, the belief that a woman’s power is gained from the tightness of her clothes and the height of her heels. It is not the case…… The endless attempts never cease to amaze me; how the clothes get tighter and the heels heighten all for a meaningless night out on the town. Whenever we run into each other, I can’t help but feel a tinge of pity. Sure, she accomplishes her goal and always gets attention, but that does not mean you are gaining it for the right reason. Miss, like so many other individuals, fails to realize that because someone looks at you that does not mean their intentions are complimenting you as a woman.
Be honest; we want to be noticed. We want eyes to fall on us in admiration of our charm and beauty. We want to be ladies. However, there are some fundamental truths to accept before the investment in our development toward becoming a true lady will result in the proper outcome.
The first truth to accept regardless; we are all born female, and nothing can be done to change that fact. We have complete control over our actions.
Our actions are the only thing that sets up apart as women. Let me explain. A female an individual with two x chromosomes that is “of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) which can be fertilized by male gametes” (Oxford Dictionary). In laments terms, that means you are biologically created female, and genetically different from men. So, it’s literally in our genes to be female. It takes no development, no practice, no work. Female is who we are.
Our development as a human is what influences how other people label femininity. We begin to make choices, and those decisions create the person we become. Have you ever noticed when someone meets a female infant or toddler, they never refer to them as a “woman?” No! That would be ridiculous. For example; if a stranger walked up to a mother and her two-year-old daughter and said: “your woman is adorable!” I’m positive the mother would be extremely confused and offended. A female, in their most infantile state, is a girl. It’s only as a girl ages and shows signs of maturity that people give her the label of woman.
A woman is something that should (I stress should) come naturally to us as we age. Logically, the older we get, the ought to be easier to put our childish ways behind. Unfortunately, I’ve seen too many cases where females struggle to mature into women. We have all seen it. The times when you are scrolling through a social media feed and run across a post that makes your eyes nearly pop out of your head.
Nevertheless, we know this is wrong, but an overwhelming urge forces us to grab the imaginary popcorn and sit down to read a female’s drama-filled comments as she airs her dirty laundry for the world to see. No one has to say anything; everyone already knows. The female who posted such information is not anything close to a woman. However, hope is not lost, the female who hasn’t stepped into her womanhood can do so at any time, providing she makes the decision. Life often has a way of forcing maturing through the hardship of others or ourselves. Our choices will inevitably catch up forcing growth. The female will then learn the lessons necessary to become a lady.
The second truth which some females have difficulty understanding; they must learn how to be a lady. It takes time, energy, and patience to cultivate good morals and values into skills that not only better yourself, but encourage those around you to do the same. Being a lady takes intentional training.
One highly recommended suggestion to reach those tangible goals is to create a daily planner and stick to the decisions. If you are beginning the journey to becoming a lady, below is a list of things to consider.
Positive Habits to Acquire:
- Smile at people. Even strangers.
- Find ways to be a positive influence
- Walk with confidence and purpose
Negative Behaviour to Avoid:
- Use only a restroom when in public
- Be intoxicated in public
- Ignore your hygiene
At first glance, the lists may seem silly, however, it’s a constant struggle to become the lady you desire. What may seem like a personal choice, can be the one thing keeping you from exemplifying the lady you are striving to become.
For example, in a conversation with a friend, a male companion, the topic of personal hygiene was expressed. His response made an everlasting impression, “When you take a bath, your feet are the first to hit the water, so if her feet are dirty her *&#@! is dirty too.”
Some women might not think twice about what they shave, wash, or choose not to shave and wash, maybe it’s believed that one will notice. Nevertheless, let me pass along some advice. Shy away from things that your dream man might not want to see you doing. Start working on breaking the bad habits with your hygiene now, and it won’t be a problem later.
So, the next time you are about to walk out of the house, look in the mirror one more time. Let your eyes drift up and down that curvy body, and see yourself as other might. It is time to become your biggest source of encouragement, support yourself until others do. Let confidence guide your footsteps and don’t become your stumbling block. Instead, constantly work towards becoming the best lady you can.